Fairytale

Christmas is right around the corner, and it occurred to me earlier today that I had not once yet listened to what has become my absolute favorite Christmas song: Fairytale of New York by the Pogues. So I remedied that immediately, and I was instantly transported to the world of the song. Just in case you haven’t heard it…

While an old man in the drunk tank sings a forlorn ballad on Christmas Eve, a down-on-his-luck loser is sleeping one off and wistfully pining for his love. Turns out he’s actually explaining where he was the previous night. It’s a depressing opener for sure, and yet he’s optimistic. He’s won some money on a long-shot bet – perhaps why he was three sheets to the wind in the first place, and he just knows this is going to turn things around for them. He calls her babe, wishes her a happy Christmas, and professes his love for her with the earnestness of someone who’s truly in love, really drunk, or maybe a bit of both.

The song abruptly cuts to an upbeat jig, where we’re introduced in flashback to how the couple first met on Christmas Eve long ago. She remembers being mesmerized by the city and how he promised her fame and fortune. She recounts how handsome he was. He tells her she was beautiful and talented. That first night was magical, filled with singing, drinking, dancing, and celebration. A special night, and likely why is she so upset he was absent this Christmas Eve. After all, it was their anniversary.

We’re yanked back to the present, and she’s having none of his excuses. She calls him a bum and a punk. He fires back, calling her a slut and an addict. She escalates with a epithet that hasn’t aged well and shuns his affection, hoping it’s their last Christmas together.

After another chorus, he’s feeling sorry for himself and blaming her, saying he could have been successful. She reminds him he’s nothing special and accuses him of being responsible for her never achieving her dreams. He reassures her that he kept her dreams with his own, and ever the optimist, he still sees a future for them.

One more swelling chorus and then the song is over. We never find out what happened to the couple. Do they find themselves in a better place next Christmas? Do they even make it to next Christmas?

The older I get, the more I appreciate what’s so haunting about this ballad. It encapsulates the disappointment and resentment of a long-term relationship and yet still manages to eke out some hope. These people are clearly broken. It’s probably a toxic – or at the very least a co-dependent – relationship. They agree that their beginning was amazing, but that’s about all, and you’re left wondering why these people are still together all these years later.

You can just tell the couple’s entire sad story. He’s a dreamer who always has some scheme in the works but just ends up blowing all their money on gambling and booze. Emotionally, he’s still a child. Even if he doesn’t know why he loves her, he just knows that he loves her. He craves her affection, approval, and validation. She’s bitter and blames him for her lot in life instead of taking personal responsibility for her own failures. She has every right to feel disappointed, but she seems to think the world owes her something. Clearly, this isn’t the life she expected or wanted. She’s living in the past, and he’s always looking toward the future. Meanwhile, they’re stuck in a present with a partner who disappoints and hurts them regularly.

And yet, it’s Christmas, they’re together, perhaps sober for once, and they’ve finally got some money. Whether you see a fairytale or a cautionary tale probably says something about your outlook as well.

Happy Christmas.